How tender the heart of God is toward those who are willing to give up on this earth why looks like success. He is greatly jealous toward those with a deep faith, and I think often hides them from the world.
If your life can be found in contentment with the Lord, he’s preserving something in eternity for you by everything you lose on this earth.
While things may never be as easy for you as it seems to be others, you will be blessed with a deep faith and peace that can never be taken away from you.
This is just what I needed today, Aaron. Thank you. It's what a lot of women need— those who are called to ministry but are mostly wanted to bring a dish to share or watch the kids (both valuable offerings, of course). I had a guy in seminary ask me, "Why won't women just go out and work and use their money to support the church?" I think he thought he was being so progressive.
My totem animal is the honeybee. I wear a baseball cap with a honeybee emblem. Honeybees are pretty invisible as long as you are not threatened by them, but they faithfully replenish the flower ecosystem and deposit liquid gold in the creation register. And we stick together and pay out hell if you try to menace us! (HAHA! I just thought of that last one!)
Oh goodness, Zoe. That seminary guy’s question is…..something. It reminds me of another story I heard that was equally terrible:
A female seminary professor had a young man taking furious notes in her class. At the end, he came up with a piece of paper full of questions and said, “I think it would be helpful if you took these home and had your husband read them, so we can make sure he gives you permission to teach what you’re teaching, and that he actually agrees with your theology.”
I couldn’t believe it when I read it. How ridiculously condescending!
Last night, we actually had our wrap-up graduation dinner for the School of Discipleship I started out here. We’re bringing a three-year cohort to a close, studying biblical theology and the way of Jesus together for three years now.
I told the young women in the group that whether they end up at a complementarian or egalitarian church, each and every one of them is called and equipped to do ministry. The expression of what that looks like will be different for everybody, but each of them is capable, gifted, and able to encourage, teach, equip, instruct, and support others in their discipleship, and they should prayerfully follow God’s leading on what that looks like for each of them.
Thanks for your comment, Zoe! Also, Director of Spiritual Formation at a small Anglican parish in Virginia? Sounds like a dream. I love it. Keep up the great work!
Yes, i read that story too. Luckily there are lots of godly men who don't feel that way. Like you! Thanks for your encouragement.
And yes... it WAS the dream but now im "just a parishioner" there for the last year. I need to change my bio! Lets just say your points are right on. Falling upwards as Richard Rohr says, right? So painful but our shepherd is so wise.
Just as you have hinted at with your quotation marks there's no such thing as "just a parishioner", but yes, the transition can be hard. It's hard knowing your potential and what you're capable of, and then to be in a room and feel like none of that is being tapped into, or that you are shrinking or being forgotten.
I am praying that the Lord continues to show you what both abiding in Him and serving Him looks like in this new season for you.
Thank you for sharing this. Although I'm not a pastor, it resonated with me. My ministry in the church is behind the scenes...preparing communion, putting flowers on the altar, praying, currently working with others to set up a care team. I feel very blessed to be in a church which celebrates the unseen workers. Not in a flashy way, but every now and then a thank you card signed by all the staff, or a verbal "it's so good to know you are praying for me", or even "thank you for making the sanctuary so beautiful for Easter". I don't do what I do for accolades. I do it because I want to glorify God and to help make the service special for those who are there...but it is nice to know it made a difference to someone that day.
It sounds like you are working under some fantastic pastors. I think letting volunteers know they are valued is so important. My wife has primarily done behind-the-scenes ministry her entire life, and it can be a very thankless job. I'm glad you have such a great perspective on this! What you do is valuable and important to the kingdom of God.
Over the years I have also learned to embrace obscurity as a beautiful thing God uses developing his kids.
For a long time I saw it as a temporary tool for preparing us for later promotion. (Which was progress for me, because I was beginning to embrace the obscurity I was experiencing at that time.) While promotion does happen for some, for most believers obscurity is not temporary it's lifetime. That is, until the age to come fully arrives. Then the last shall become first.
I grew up in a culture that taught me that in ministry, God rewarded those who were really, really good and faithful with success, and with the growth of their platforms and influence. If what you were doing wasn’t growing, pastors were often pitied at best, or their effectiveness was questioned at worst.
I’ve had similar thoughts in the past… perhaps this is all leading towards something. Perhaps there will be some sort of “promotion.” Surely the effort and faithfulness will lead to some sort of tangible badge that I can wear and point to and one day say to others, “See, it was worth it because it led to this new role or position or whatever.”
But I have thoroughly had that mindset beaten out of me by life circumstances.
Through my own experience, and through the experience of many other brothers and sisters in Christ that I’ve spoken to and met on this journey, I’ve come to realize that things like faithfulness, loyalty, effort, hard work, and dedication are not always rewarded. Very often, in our culture, they can actually be the catalyst sometimes for people getting crushed or stepped over or thrown under the bus or impoverished, and so many other challenges.
And really, isn’t that the model we see all throughout Scripture?
Look at basically any Old Testament prophet. Look at most of the early church. Like, yes, they are exalted for us Christians who have been reading about their stories for thousands of years, but in the moment, those guys did not feel pretty great about their situation. Paul is writing from prison… they’re running away from the Roman Empire, hiding out, trying to survive.
So I’ve come to realize that the model of ministry that I grew up with, while beautiful in many ways, is not the norm. And sometimes it can set unrealistic expectations for young men (especially) on what ministry is, what ministry should be, and what it should look like.
I’ve come to a point where I’ve made peace with the obscurity. All I want to do is just love Jesus, love my wife, love my kids, and teach young people how to follow Jesus and his way in whatever capacity and opportunity God opens up the door for me to do.
“He must increase. I must decrease.”
I’ve made peace with the fact that the way I do ministry will probably never be seen as “successful” in the circles that I grew up in.
And that is okay!
The goal is not seeming successful. The goal is long obedience in the same direction.
Amen, that's so good. He must increase I must decrease. John the Baptist was still learning that lesson at the very end! He expected to be promoted from the prison in due season. And he was... with the lopping off of his head. Promoted to a more glorious Resurrection in the final last day. Jesus did all that boasting about John the Baptist being the greatest man born of a woman... Without John ever hearing any of it. 😲❤️🔥😲
It wasn't until lately that I thought anyone cared I'd been ignored for so long. Society doesn't care about what I care about and I don't care about what society cares about. I need no validation, have nothing to prove, and owe no favors. Church has worn thin. The forest picks up where the church ends, as I'm dramatically learning.
25 years of ministry experience inside the system. Now, doing the support-based ministry. Exciting, thrilling and this “Instead, God led me into a season where it felt like my gifts disappeared into a black hole.” Now, as I am focused on caring for ministry leaders and pastors…it is quiet, it is listening. It is awesome—in totally different ways.
We raise support so we can offer ourselves for free to pastors and ministry leaders—companionship, care, coaching, mentorship—whatever is needed. Learn more: hovetshepherds.com
Any one need care? Reach out. We are here for you—pass the word—not a sales or support pitch—just availability to shepherd the shepherds.
Yes to all of these. After enjoying a few years as a parish priest, I crashed out and ended up serving God through hospice, then higher education, and now hospital chaplaincy. A lot of that time has been gut-wrenchingly painful, confronting the realization that no one around me cared about my training, credentials, or - worst of all - sense of deep call to being a spiritual presence to those around me. Coming through the darkness, though, there is a sense of God's faithfulness to those who are called, and finally, a readiness for that to be enough. Bless you!
Loved your post today, Aaron.
How tender the heart of God is toward those who are willing to give up on this earth why looks like success. He is greatly jealous toward those with a deep faith, and I think often hides them from the world.
If your life can be found in contentment with the Lord, he’s preserving something in eternity for you by everything you lose on this earth.
While things may never be as easy for you as it seems to be others, you will be blessed with a deep faith and peace that can never be taken away from you.
Let your Father steward eternity for you.
This is just what I needed today, Aaron. Thank you. It's what a lot of women need— those who are called to ministry but are mostly wanted to bring a dish to share or watch the kids (both valuable offerings, of course). I had a guy in seminary ask me, "Why won't women just go out and work and use their money to support the church?" I think he thought he was being so progressive.
My totem animal is the honeybee. I wear a baseball cap with a honeybee emblem. Honeybees are pretty invisible as long as you are not threatened by them, but they faithfully replenish the flower ecosystem and deposit liquid gold in the creation register. And we stick together and pay out hell if you try to menace us! (HAHA! I just thought of that last one!)
Oh goodness, Zoe. That seminary guy’s question is…..something. It reminds me of another story I heard that was equally terrible:
A female seminary professor had a young man taking furious notes in her class. At the end, he came up with a piece of paper full of questions and said, “I think it would be helpful if you took these home and had your husband read them, so we can make sure he gives you permission to teach what you’re teaching, and that he actually agrees with your theology.”
I couldn’t believe it when I read it. How ridiculously condescending!
Last night, we actually had our wrap-up graduation dinner for the School of Discipleship I started out here. We’re bringing a three-year cohort to a close, studying biblical theology and the way of Jesus together for three years now.
I told the young women in the group that whether they end up at a complementarian or egalitarian church, each and every one of them is called and equipped to do ministry. The expression of what that looks like will be different for everybody, but each of them is capable, gifted, and able to encourage, teach, equip, instruct, and support others in their discipleship, and they should prayerfully follow God’s leading on what that looks like for each of them.
Thanks for your comment, Zoe! Also, Director of Spiritual Formation at a small Anglican parish in Virginia? Sounds like a dream. I love it. Keep up the great work!
Yes, i read that story too. Luckily there are lots of godly men who don't feel that way. Like you! Thanks for your encouragement.
And yes... it WAS the dream but now im "just a parishioner" there for the last year. I need to change my bio! Lets just say your points are right on. Falling upwards as Richard Rohr says, right? So painful but our shepherd is so wise.
Just as you have hinted at with your quotation marks there's no such thing as "just a parishioner", but yes, the transition can be hard. It's hard knowing your potential and what you're capable of, and then to be in a room and feel like none of that is being tapped into, or that you are shrinking or being forgotten.
I am praying that the Lord continues to show you what both abiding in Him and serving Him looks like in this new season for you.
And i you! I restack your posts more than anyone else i follow. You're doing such beautiful work👍
Thank you for sharing this. Although I'm not a pastor, it resonated with me. My ministry in the church is behind the scenes...preparing communion, putting flowers on the altar, praying, currently working with others to set up a care team. I feel very blessed to be in a church which celebrates the unseen workers. Not in a flashy way, but every now and then a thank you card signed by all the staff, or a verbal "it's so good to know you are praying for me", or even "thank you for making the sanctuary so beautiful for Easter". I don't do what I do for accolades. I do it because I want to glorify God and to help make the service special for those who are there...but it is nice to know it made a difference to someone that day.
It sounds like you are working under some fantastic pastors. I think letting volunteers know they are valued is so important. My wife has primarily done behind-the-scenes ministry her entire life, and it can be a very thankless job. I'm glad you have such a great perspective on this! What you do is valuable and important to the kingdom of God.
Greatly encouraging. Thanks.
Over the years I have also learned to embrace obscurity as a beautiful thing God uses developing his kids.
For a long time I saw it as a temporary tool for preparing us for later promotion. (Which was progress for me, because I was beginning to embrace the obscurity I was experiencing at that time.) While promotion does happen for some, for most believers obscurity is not temporary it's lifetime. That is, until the age to come fully arrives. Then the last shall become first.
Yes! I resonate with this so much.
I grew up in a culture that taught me that in ministry, God rewarded those who were really, really good and faithful with success, and with the growth of their platforms and influence. If what you were doing wasn’t growing, pastors were often pitied at best, or their effectiveness was questioned at worst.
I’ve had similar thoughts in the past… perhaps this is all leading towards something. Perhaps there will be some sort of “promotion.” Surely the effort and faithfulness will lead to some sort of tangible badge that I can wear and point to and one day say to others, “See, it was worth it because it led to this new role or position or whatever.”
But I have thoroughly had that mindset beaten out of me by life circumstances.
Through my own experience, and through the experience of many other brothers and sisters in Christ that I’ve spoken to and met on this journey, I’ve come to realize that things like faithfulness, loyalty, effort, hard work, and dedication are not always rewarded. Very often, in our culture, they can actually be the catalyst sometimes for people getting crushed or stepped over or thrown under the bus or impoverished, and so many other challenges.
And really, isn’t that the model we see all throughout Scripture?
Look at basically any Old Testament prophet. Look at most of the early church. Like, yes, they are exalted for us Christians who have been reading about their stories for thousands of years, but in the moment, those guys did not feel pretty great about their situation. Paul is writing from prison… they’re running away from the Roman Empire, hiding out, trying to survive.
So I’ve come to realize that the model of ministry that I grew up with, while beautiful in many ways, is not the norm. And sometimes it can set unrealistic expectations for young men (especially) on what ministry is, what ministry should be, and what it should look like.
I’ve come to a point where I’ve made peace with the obscurity. All I want to do is just love Jesus, love my wife, love my kids, and teach young people how to follow Jesus and his way in whatever capacity and opportunity God opens up the door for me to do.
“He must increase. I must decrease.”
I’ve made peace with the fact that the way I do ministry will probably never be seen as “successful” in the circles that I grew up in.
And that is okay!
The goal is not seeming successful. The goal is long obedience in the same direction.
Amen, that's so good. He must increase I must decrease. John the Baptist was still learning that lesson at the very end! He expected to be promoted from the prison in due season. And he was... with the lopping off of his head. Promoted to a more glorious Resurrection in the final last day. Jesus did all that boasting about John the Baptist being the greatest man born of a woman... Without John ever hearing any of it. 😲❤️🔥😲
It wasn't until lately that I thought anyone cared I'd been ignored for so long. Society doesn't care about what I care about and I don't care about what society cares about. I need no validation, have nothing to prove, and owe no favors. Church has worn thin. The forest picks up where the church ends, as I'm dramatically learning.
25 years of ministry experience inside the system. Now, doing the support-based ministry. Exciting, thrilling and this “Instead, God led me into a season where it felt like my gifts disappeared into a black hole.” Now, as I am focused on caring for ministry leaders and pastors…it is quiet, it is listening. It is awesome—in totally different ways.
We raise support so we can offer ourselves for free to pastors and ministry leaders—companionship, care, coaching, mentorship—whatever is needed. Learn more: hovetshepherds.com
Any one need care? Reach out. We are here for you—pass the word—not a sales or support pitch—just availability to shepherd the shepherds.
Yes to all of these. After enjoying a few years as a parish priest, I crashed out and ended up serving God through hospice, then higher education, and now hospital chaplaincy. A lot of that time has been gut-wrenchingly painful, confronting the realization that no one around me cared about my training, credentials, or - worst of all - sense of deep call to being a spiritual presence to those around me. Coming through the darkness, though, there is a sense of God's faithfulness to those who are called, and finally, a readiness for that to be enough. Bless you!
This is beautifully honest and so, so encouraging!🥹
Thank you for this timely piece, Aaron.🥹🤲🏽