He Won't Ask Forever
Choosing love over anxiety.
From a 2025 Journal Entry:
Another exhausting bedtime. Jack, my four year old, drags it out with songs, little dances, with one more question about dinosaurs and spaceships and whatever his brain is firing on tonight. Then he hits me with the line that disarms every bit of resolve I pretend to have, “cuddle with me daddy.”
I’m wiped. My brain keeps drifting toward the work piling up on my desk, the horrible sales dip in the web business, the quiet fear humming underneath all of it that I still need to carve out a real plan to keep the family steady and the ministry alive.
The dishes (my nightly chore) are stacked in the sink like a silent accusation.
My wife and I keep getting these thin slivers of time together at the end of the night, barely enough to breathe. Personal time feels like a memory long past…a joke we used to tell.
I know that if I get in that bed it will just drag the night out longer.
But then I look at him.
I look straight in those little wild eyes that still shine with uncomplicated love.
And something in me says what I already know is true, “there will come a night, one night I won’t expect, when it happens… where he asks for the last cuddle, and the season ends, and I’ll want this moment back.”
Tonight is not that night.
So I climb in the bed. I wrap my arms around my boy. He presses his head into my chest and says, “Daddy, I love you.” I feel a tear slip out before I can catch it, and I whisper, “I love you too, Jackie boy.” I plant a kiss on his cheek.
His breathing slows, then softens into the tiniest snore.
And while he drifts off, I start to pray.
Thank you Lord for this boy, for this gift, this decade long prayer answered… and for this moment that cuts through all the noise and reminds me what truly matters.
If this work has fed you, challenged you, or pushed you closer to Jesus, then I need your help!
I’m Aaron, a former long-time church staff pastor now doing ministry out in the wild. Since 2018, I’ve been building GoodLion Ministries to help young adults follow Jesus deeply in a post-modern, post-Christian age that pulls them in a thousand directions.
On Sunday evenings, I lead the GoodLion School of Discipleship, a multi-year formation program where young adults wrestle with Scripture, ask hard questions, and build a faith that can handle doubt and chaos. Through this work, I watch students move from confusion to clarity, from fear to faithfulness, from being spiritually adrift to knowing how to walk with Jesus in real life.
I also write here on Substack, mentor young leaders, and create resources for people who want substance over hype.
Our mission is simple: We believe in Jesus, the King who is not safe but is very good. We’re here for the doubters, the deconstructors, the burnt-out ministers, the church kids haunted by legalism, and anyone tired of shallow faith.
Here’s the reality: I’m bivocational. For years, I’ve supported my family through freelance work while building this ministry in every spare hour I can find. My goal is to transition to doing this work full time so I can expand the School, write more, travel to teach, raise up more leaders, and serve every single person who need what GoodLion offers.
This is my life’s work. For nearly 20 years, I’ve been helping Gen Z learn to think deeply, wrestle honestly, and follow Jesus in a world that tries to pull them apart.
If you believe this work matters, I invite you partner with me! This is not a side hustle for me. This is a mission. Even $10/month helps me teach more, write more, and disciple more young adults who genuinely need it.
👉 Support GoodLion Ministries Here
Thank you for walking with me.
– Aaron
Links
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🎓 GoodLion School of Discipleship
Resisting the urge to belt out “Cats in the Cradle” :)
Boy, this is so good. My son just turned 14, my daughter is almost 20. What you are saying here is dead on. A great reminder to enjoy each season the Lord gives with our children, and to view each one as a precious gift. Thanks for posting this!